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Infinite Hiatus

by cool american

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released June 2, 2017

nathan tucker - guitar, vocals
andy rusinek - guitar, vocals
tim howe - bass, vocals
asher groh - drums, percussion

recorded jan/feb 2017 at the type foundry by mac pogue and andy rusinek and at the 212 by the band. mixed by andy rusinek and mastered by blake la grange


all rights reserved


Track Name: Sockets
put that tall can down, it wasn't what you wanted. this conversation's feeling stunted. you look around but i'm in front of you, wondering why you look hunted.

half smoked cigarette lingers in your pocket. 26 and you can't stop it, still sticking fingers into sockets. found your scene but you forgot it.
Track Name: Great At Parties
i drank until the joke was funny, until it felt like something you'd laugh about at work, then slept til it became a nightmare. i only have the kind where nobody is getting hurt. where things come sharply into focus, you wake up feeling bogus. you wake up feeling bare, naked, pressed against the morning. unwanted when conforming, unnoticed when you're there.

no one's making any sense. this partier's defense has got me feeling tense. keep the blinds open at night, and let the morning light erase what isn't right.

get together on a tuesday, the one night you're not working, the one night you complain. binge on champagne and doritos. emotional mosquitos, your friends are empty veins.

can't keep going to the same well, you lose the taste for water before you even tell that no one's making any sense. spent the whole night dropping hints and now i'm on the fence. keep the blinds open at night an let the morning light erase what isn't right.
Track Name: Seems Insane
remember words, divorced from context: not what you said, but how i responded. i'm lying cold on the wet grass, i crash out of it. the vaguest way you could have asked, you could have stomached, but i knew just what you meant.

the only time i get worked up is when someone's telling me to calm down. in the corner freaking out cause all your friends are feeling unwound. and it used to be great, now it seems insane that there are things you can take so that you feel that way. it's coming on fast but you know that it won't stay.

it's just a job, it won't last forever. an infinite knot, you could just sever. beholden to your student loans and you feel stunted. so you pretend the things you chose are what you wanted, like you could feel content.

it used to be great, now it seems insane that there are things you could take to that you feel ok; 150 mg a day.

the only time i get worked up is when someone is telling me to calm down. the feeling is always infinite, but the whole thing is starting to come unwound.
Track Name: Lifers Pt. 2
i didn’t notice it at first, thought my luck was better this year but now I know it’s worse. thought i’d tie up some loose ends: collect accomplishments without misplacing friends. but every summer i'm surprised that i don't know if i'll see you around. but i hope so

i don’t get worked up like i did. ok maybe last night but it’s hard to fight the skid. no one ever means to shout, some posi pantry six pack probably turned me inside out. when the morning clears my head i still don’t know if we’ll still be cool, but i hope so

not making sense unless i'm feeling like my brain is sitting in the corner wrapped in cellophane. still paying rent, it’s like i’m crawling in my skin, cause it can’t be the way it was back then

i never notice til it stops, but it’s the only thing i do that i can’t imagine not. it’s not like there’s another way that i could know if it’ll still feel good, but i hope so
Track Name: honestly forever
stuck wishing there was something else when always i’m surrounded by positive enforcement, says we’re lucky to have been born here on earth. code switching with the bros at work, i’m always such a sucker for pointless interaction where values are a fraction of worth.

nothing to outwit when everywhere you fit. no order to replace, when everything seems safe.

i don’t want to talk about it now, or honestly forever cause speech is a reaction when thought is the distraction of birth. just wanna make another song and maybe i’ll feel better: feel like i’m not cheating, like no one’s born competing for turf.

nothing to ignore when everything seems boring, nowhere to escape when everywhere is safe.
Track Name: Maui's
saturday, before they moved away, PBR at mauis. something mean you said about LA, our laughter felt like shouting. that twitch in your eye, i know that it’s a tell, it’s a warning. but here by your side, i’ll have another drink and ignore it.

water works, it’s not like it’s a first, i just never see it coming. bottled up, it was always gonna burst, so why’d you leave it running?

it’s good to feel loved, but you could feel engaged and rewarded. i’ll push and i’ll shove, but I won’t be the way you ignore it

it’s not enough that I won’t call your bluff. the pot becomes the kettle. hopefully, i’ll start to believe when you say that you won’t settle

so many paths that you could tread but you can’t drag yourself from bed in the morning. i’ll keep it warm instead, but i won’t be the way you ignore it. no i won’t be the one who ignores it
Track Name: Cashed Out
out on the porch while the neighbors kid practices violin. can’t focus of course but the last thing that i want is silence, your voice in my head narrating the book that you lent to me. now i’m biking to work in the late afternoon feeling empty

filling the cup, as it’s emptied out. building it up, just to be let down

why watch a cup being filled drip by drip, incremental? or empty it out, watch it nakedly steep in potential? is that what you meant when you said you can’t start something infinite? if it has a beginning then there always will be an end to it.

building it up, just to be let down. you were part of the club, but it’s over now. left the check blank, now you’re cashing out. you were part of the club, but it’s over now
Track Name: Life Is Pain, Pain Is Beauty, Beauty Is Fleeting
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ah
Track Name: Soda Yoda
nothing inside my head is ever gonna get out. can’t connect my brain to my mouth. sleeping all day instead, or nervously pacing the house. check my phone what’s karla up to?

down again, stuck beneath the feeling when all the time i try to spend doing what i love doesn’t feel the way it should of.

hum of the sewing machine, she’s stitching a masterpiece and i’m watching soccer on some shit stream. rip off a riff from rod, and get my mind into gear. maybe i’ll get a bit more blog hype this year

down again, trying hard to understand that all the time i try to spend doing what i love won’t always feel the way it should of

i could be a perfect man, sticking to the plan, doing what i can. won’t remember a thing i could miss, just some forgotten dream. but you don’t need to hear that from me
Track Name: indefinite hiatus
cleaning up, found an old cardboard sign, covered in wine. no one turned away, but five bucks if you can, for the touring band. two weeks on the road found the scene that you didn’t know was missing. cleaning out the van, crushed doritos again, rent’s due on wednesday.

there were a couple sweet summers but it’s no surprise, nothing is perfect.
there were a couple sweet summers, then you’ll have to decide what still feels worth it.

old know, near the end, the sloppiest set i’d seen them play yet. "looked real fun to me" is all i said, before i left.
Track Name: A Fullness Indistinguishable From Being Emptied
it still comes in waves, quick build slow decay. consumes you fully, but you feel sullied when it goes away. now i’m waiting for the day I put that thought away: that it’s not useful, this thing i’m choosing, there’s nothing i can say.

used to lead with your fist, stick the knife in and twist, but you couldn’t resist the corporate kiss’ lingering spit. so you try to ignore the unsettling sense that nothing of value is ever allowed to just simply exist.

waiting for my chance to take a second glance. i’m looking back towards what i had stood for, and there’s no romance

take another hit, but it still feels like shit. you learn to fake it or you’ll come to hate it. you might feel sick, you might feel jaded.

i slither in my seat when i’m stuck standing still, but i just wanna sleep when I get out. i’ll drink from the glass till i’ve had my fill but it’s a half empty solo cup of self doubt. cause filling is incremental, and empty is just potential. some spilling is essential, yeah it’s a mess. but what matters is how you clean up I guess.

so I still lead with my fists, stick my tongue out and hiss, cause there’s no calling it quits when you’re trying to resist complacency’s kiss.
i just try to embrace the unsettling sense that nothing of value is ever supposed to just simply exist.

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